What It Means to “Choose Your Hard”

What it Means to Choose Your Hard

One of the biggest belief-shifting statements that I wish I was told at the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey, almost 10 years ago, is this: “You get to choose your hard.”

This statement is true for every area of your life where you desire change. Whether it’s for nurturing relationships, losing weight, making money or building a business, we all do things that are hard, but we get to choose what that hard looks like.

Take me for example. Right now, we are in the process of sleep training my son, Declan. He gets two dream feeds a night, and one of those takes place at 3:00am. Now, because I would normally be waking up at 5:00am, I have now chosen to stay up after this dream feed. 

And let me tell you: It’s hard waking up at 3:00am to give myself 3 to 4 hours of me-time and work-time. It’s hard having to go to bed at 8:00pm, instead of watching one more episode on Netflix with my husband, so that I can catch some sleep. It’s hard working on a Sunday afternoon when I’d much rather be chilling on the couch with my family. It’s hard being a stay-at-home mom and an entrepreneur with a vision and a mission.  

But this is the kind of “hard” that I’ve chosen. This is the “hard” I’m choosing right now.

Because it would be much harder if I let myself sleep in just to scramble and stress all day. It would be much harder if I didn’t make time to meditate, or write, or read, or create – these are the things that I need to keep me, me. It would be much harder if I bailed on my business, because it’s my passion and the greatest representation of my purpose. 

The truth of the matter is – we all have to do hard things. We get to choose what’s hard though. “Hard” is relative. It’s hard pivoting into something more aligned. It’s hard building a business that matters to you. But you know what else is hard? Staying exactly where you are. Wasting another day of your life doing something that doesn’t light you up. 

The soul-powered path isn’t always the easiest. It can get uncomfortable. It can get scary. It can get exhausting. Here are three things that keep me going, particularly when I start to question what I’m doing or when it feels like things aren’t moving fast enough for me. 

  1. Impermanence keeps me going. This is the notion that not everything lasts forever. Everything comes to an end. Every season brings new challenges and opportunities. Declan won’t be needing dream feeds forever – he might no longer need them a month from now. I might be able to have more help a month from now. I might be in a totally different place a month from now. 
  2. My “why” keeps me going. The why is everything in business – it’s not only the motivating factor, but also what compels you to stay disciplined and determined. When I pivoted into e-learning, I decided that I was going to be relentlessly persistent in the pursuit of my dreams, because I have a vision for my family. I have desires that can come to fruition if I can stay the course. 
  3. And most importantly, my inner knowing keeps me going. This is the strong, undeniable truth deep within me that on the other side of all this “hard” that I’m facing at the moment, is something really, truly incredible. I keep imagining what that will look like – when I finally sell out my program, when I can finally create more courses, when I can have more options for me and my family. It’s so clear and strong in my mind and in my heart. 

I’m not someone who wants to choose between being a stay-at-home mom and an entrepreneur, and so I choose both. It might make things harder in the short term, but the long term impact will be amazing. Make sure you’re showing up for the right kind of “hard” – the kind that will lead you to exactly where you want to be. 

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